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Like the rest of greater America I went to see a movie over the Holiday break, a quiet enjoyable film with a friend, nothing special… little did I know I was about to be bombarded with 2+ hours of the most blatant display of Geekhouse piracy since the Indonesian knock-offs.

I’m talking of course about a film called Tron Legacy.

This movie, although a visual masterpiece, sickened me. The entire thing was a flagrant rip-off of our livelihood and I am disappointed in Jeff Bridges, Disney, and everyone involved for such gross misconduct and copyright infringement.

Here’s how I see it.

Rip-off #1: Motorcycle mumbo-jumbo

Marty, Dan, Stebs, AND Ian are all about the young-hip motorcycle gang thing and have been for the better part of the last year. DSG was featured on Dime City Cycles, Ian has been building himself a new gas tank for the better part of the last month, and Marty’s Cafe Racer is basically a babe vacuum. Nice try Tron but you’re 10 months too late which is like 11 months in hipster time.

Gross Injustice #2: SUPER tight clothing

This one is a no-brainer. Greggles has been pushing the limits of skinny jean/man-capri technology for years now and the Tron disc-suits are clearly just a conceptual evolution of Levi’s 511s… Shameless.

Impudent Infringement #3: Light Bikes

So basically, the vast majority of the movie focuses around these super whips called “Light Bikes” or something. All I have to say to this is.. how dare you? This is clearly a conspicuous copy of Bianca’s fork leg Integrated LED from 2010 NAHBS… briefly, this is incorrigible.

Flagrantly Flaunted Fabrication #4: Hipster Babez

This one hits so close to home it’s almost hard to discuss. Casting Olivia Wilde as the lead female in a movie with a sound track by Daft Punk is basically like turning Sunday nights at The Model into a feature length film. Don’t even get me started on her asymmetrical bangs.

The Nail in the Proverbial Counterfeit Coffin: Girl Problems

The back and forth between Quorra (Olivia Wilde) and Garrett (Sam Flynn) was an audacious, bare-faced, and unabashed theft of the girl problems we experience. At what point do we draw the line between creative license and straight-up plagiarism? The will-they-won’t-they, back and forth sexual tension, when Sam saves Quorra and reclaims Kevin’s disc; the trio then commandeer an aerial shuttle and are pursued by Clu, his guards and Rinzler using Light Jets. Between Quorra’s evasive flying and Sam manning the rear turret, they manage to shoot down Clu’s guards… Sound familiar?

The. Exact. Same. Thing. (basically) happened to Greg and Brad like, LAST WEEK, when that girl wouldn’t come over to watch Glee. Six of one, half dozen of the other. It’s nauseating.

We couldn’t do anything about the Indonesian knock-offs but this is happening in movie theaters across the cross-country on our home turf. Disney, if you’re reading this (and you better be), we expect full compensation in the form of a dinner-date with Olivia Wilde ASAP. I’ll be awaiting your call.

Martin we’ve got a problem.

Indonesia is cool. It’s a republic, a 17,000+ island “archipelago” (which was my favorite word in 7th grade Geography), it supports the world’s second highest level of biodiversity, and it’s got a 720cm axle to crown height, pretty impressive.

Sweet right? Wanna know what’s not so sweet?

…when people in Indonesia build fake Geekhouse Bikes.


We’ve got this great little tool from big brother (Google) called Google Alerts. It let’s us know everytime “Geekhouse” or “Geekhouse Bikes” or “Boston hipsterz fixiez bike guyz” pops up on the world wild web. This is nice because it’s an auto-alert in my inbox every time we get featured on a blog or if some kid trash-talks us on YugoslaviaFixed or whatever.

Some things started popping up that are slightly more damaging than Eastern-Bloc haterade.

Our 2009 NAHBS Rockcity

A 2010 Indoneekhouse WTFcity

Now believe me- I love Indonesian knock-offs. I own about 40 fake Coach purses and that Indonesian Obama impersonator they’ve got… Classic.

But this hits a little closer to home. We don’t have a lot of details but these entrepreneurs, we think, come from one of the 6,000 human-populated islands of Indonesia (I’m 99% sure this isn’t the work of a Sumatran Tiger). They are mass producing bikes that they are then selling under the name Geekhouse. Briefly, that ain’t right. Worst of all- they’re blogging about it. Take my bikes, have my decals, but whatever you do-

DO NOT MESS WITH MY INTERNETZ FAME

You can tell the fakes because, well, they’re awful. If you can’t tell the difference between a real Geekhouse and a knock-off you don’t need an explanation you need invasive retinal surgery.

We’re bummed about this because we put a lot of hard work into our company. While we’re not that small (we have, count ‘em, three space heaters) we’re pretty surprised that we’re being knocked-off. Anyways, the Indoneekhouses are pretty busted so you probably shouldn’t buy one. I mean, I only kind of want one and I can have as many real Geekhouses as I want.


They are even knocking off our lengthy lead time on bikes by utilizing Slow Lorises to miter tack and grind down all the fake “Yo Marty” forks (aptly renamed “Yo Abdurrahman Wahid!”)

There’s nothing we can do about this. Much bigger companies have much more prolific imitators in even grander parts of the Pacific Rim. So we thought we would just spam you to complain about it a bit. Kind of like when your boyfriend/girlfriend shrugs around the house waiting for you to ask “What’s wrong baaaaabbbbyyyyyy?” We’ve been sulking around like that for weeks but the UPS guy is tired of hearing us putz and he started writing “Whine Country, USA” on all of our packages from QBP. I’m beginning to think he’s not even that into my problems.

In conclusion…

WHATEVER INDONESIA. I’M SO OVER YOU. DOES EVERYONE KNOW THAT YOU’RE A BUNCH OF LIARS? I’M DOING GREAT. I’M FINE. I FEEL BAD FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I’M GOING TO THE HOSPITAL AND I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY. I’M FINE. I’M JUST CONFUSED. YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M OVER IT. I BUILT A WHOLE BUNCH OF GEEKHOUSES TODAY. I EVEN BUILT A BLACK GEEKHOUSE. CLICK.

Thanks for listening. I feel much better.

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